Taming the Happy Albatross…

August 8th, 2006

You are in the middle of a massive traffic jam. It is sweltering hot, and nothing is moving. Not even the leaves on the plants by the roadside. Senseless blaring of horns. Senseless because there is nowhere you can go, no matter how much the guy behind blares away.

Judas Priest pounding away on the car CD. Someone is screaming; someone else is screaming back. You look out and you go, ‘Arrgh! &*#@$**!%#’ (unprintable, because this is a health blog). That is all you need now. Two guys quarrelling over some trivial issue:

Commuter 1: Why the hell are you honking away? You think I can fly out of this mess to make space for you?
Commuter 2: Who asked you to shove your way into this little space, you moron?
Commuter 1: Nitwit!
Commuter 2: Dumbass!
Commuter 1: You $*&@*^!
Commuter 2: Screw you, *&%$#*

And the traffic policeman standing helplessly in the middle of this chaos, whistling away. And the two are going on and on. No action, just trading insults. And suddenly one turns to you, ‘What’s your problem, lady?’ You realize you have let loose an obscenity at them and one of them has heard it. And seeing it coming from a lady, finds it a better way to channel his rage; with a lady probably he could win the argument.

You can simultaneously feel a few things happen. One, your ears go red and redder. Two, you can actually hear the heart thumping away – hit him, hit him; hit him, hit him. Three, you can’t see it, but you can feel it – your blood pressure is soaring like the happy albatross. Scary Uncle Rob thundering ‘Breaking the law, Breaking the law’ and Uncles Downing and Tripton launching into a ferocious riff…

You get out of the car, and walk to the scene of the altercation, slowly. The two guys are eyeing you now, one belligerent, the other slightly uncertain (what’s this stupid woman coming here for?). You are almost there. And then, for a moment you close your eyes. And focus. Focus on something pleasant, something that makes you happy, not these two morons that make you mad, but your dog Attila furiously running to your house from the direction of the neighbors, stolen chicken leg dangling precariously from his mouth…

The thumping of the heart has subsided to a regular ‘lub, dub; lub dub’. The scary uncles from Priest are silent now. The blood is flowing regularly, no stress at all. You open your eyes and tell them, ‘Why don’t you punch the daylights out of each other instead of yelling your heads off like two scared punks? Beat each other up; at least we’ll all have something to look at. Or, shut up and wait for the jam to clear.’ You smile at the two bewildered blokes, and walk back to your car…

That is the power of meditation. It calms you down, regulates your vital signs, and generally helps you to destress. You can count on it to save your day, especially when it needs the most saving!

Entry Filed under: Healthy Lifestyles